wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize