Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
