remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
