he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
