forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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