i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
