Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize