I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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