did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
