Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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