So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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