NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
