plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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