why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
