so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
