I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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