You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
