You smell like stripper and shame
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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