the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize