do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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