i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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