I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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