just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
