so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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