She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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