so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
