In the future we'll all be gay
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize