I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize