If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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