Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize