So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
