Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize