I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I smell like Dick and happiness
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
