i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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