ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
