I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize