And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
