Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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