im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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