But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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