my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
