SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
