What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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