So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
