Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
