just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
