Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
