I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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