The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
