I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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