can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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