And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
