I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
