Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
