i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
