I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
