Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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