i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
