i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Life is so much better after having sex.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
