A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize