The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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