Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
