can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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